Your Blogs & Articles

1) Why did the melon cross the road? To prove it wasn't a chicken.

2) How do bananas greet each other? With a banana shake.

3) Why did the pineapple go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a  date.

4) Why did the tomato turn red? Because she saw the salad dressing.

5) What kind of flower looks out of place in a vase? A cauliflower.

6) How did the blond woman break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.

7) Another blond woman was driving speedily along a road when a police officer pulled her over. He asked to see her driver's license. She fumbled in her large purse, found her wallet and discovered that her driver's license wasn't in it. The blond woman bobbed her head from side to side while saying, "I don't remember if I left it in my home at the office." The police office rolled his eyes, and said, "Lady, I'm going to have to see some form of photo i.d."  She fumbled in her large purse again, found her compact, looked lovingly into its little mirror, then handed it to the police officer. He looked in the mirror for a spell, then slapped closed the compact and handed it back to the blond woman. He said, "Sorry Lady, If I'd known you were an officer, I would have never pulled you over."  (The officer was a brunette.)

8) What happened to the raw vegan-friendly dog who could not bite into the organic watermelon? She became a melon collie.

9) What did one mildly-romantic melon say to the other? I'm sorry honey dew, I canteloupe.

10) Health Tip: Keep in mind that eating your lawn is more nutritious than mowing it

11) Glad Recipe: Fresh Organic Lawn Juice. This is not a joke. Weeds & grasses create a powerful cleanse.

12) An organic salad walks into a bar. "Sorry" says the bartender. "We don't serve food here."

13) Practice safe eating - always use *condiments.  [*preferably organic local raw vegan-friendly]

14) How to be chubby on a raw vegan diet? Be a light eater. When it gets light, start eating.

15) My wife is on a fruitarian ditto ~ coconuts, papayas and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but she can now climb a tree.

By Happy Oasis, Raw Spirit Community News

How we wash our clothes intimately reflects the quality of our relationship with nature, joy and life. My Beloved, Johnny Light, and I are traveling indefinitely in our cozymost, humble, little eco-rv, fondly called our "Creational Vehicle". Arriving at a new town today, the appeal of going to a laundromat feels less than tantalizing.

For 20 joyous years I lived out of a backpack, two-booting it around the planet, gladly washing my two changes of clothing by hand in mountaintop stream springs near forest fire lookout towers, in East Indian riverfront ashrams' community baths, Buddhist Thai and Burmese jungle temples' pools, beneath Malaysian island waterfalls, between venerable trees at Mexican mortar and pestle outdoor 'laundromats', occasionally doing the twist with a foot in each bucket, sometimes resorting to the loveliest and laziest of all: swimming in my dresses.

Just between us, I'd like to share this private conversation with my beloved.

"Happy, Did you say, 'Wash our clothes in the river?' Why would we do that?, he winced. "Nobody washes their clothing by hand!"

"All of humanity has been washing its clothes by hand," I reminded him, "for several millennia, except a recent abberation where in a few dozen countries washing machines have gained popularity for the last 60 years ~ a mere drop in the bucket of humanity's timeline."

"At the laundromat it takes only an hour and a half," he reasoned.

"If we do it together," I smilingly persisted, "it will take us only about 20 vigorous minutes of dunking, scrubbing, splash-slapping and squeeze-wringing". "Then," I explained, "we simply spread the clothes out on the largest, darkest, hottest boulders. After a half hour we flip the clothing. After an hour in the tepid weather, our clothing will be as if starch-dried, stiff as a board, and crisp as raw crackers!"

"What about the ecology?", he wondered aloud, not convinced.

"Exactly. Imagine this. No industrial machines. No electricity. No grumbling, rumbling noises. No detergent. No whizzing traffic. No dreary ambiance. No coins. $10 saved and better spent elsewhere on green drinks and smoothies."

"I mean, what about getting soap in the river?"

"We use no soap at all," I said. "Yet, the aroma of clean river-washed, sun-dried clothing exudes the freshest scent imaginable!"

"With our clothing strewn across the boulders, people will think we're from the Backwaters of Goodness-Knows-Where."

"We will be in the backwaters. People will think we're living in a state of joyful wild abandon."

"We are!", he exclaimed. "Every day!"

"And night", I added.

"What kind of wild adventure are you taking me on next?"

"What you will find most precious of all, Treasured Beloved, is how we enjoy our time while "waiting" for the sunshine to do the work. At Nature's River Laundromat, we are free to dip our feet into the river, listen to the giggling currents, gaze at the water shimmer-glistening..."

"...We are free to swim, splash and stretch; to sunbathe alongside our clothes; pick fat blackberries, suck on wild grapes, and feast on succulent figs, maybe even hike to some hidden valley with a guitar and songs in our hearts… we could possibly even make beautiful love in a secret spot beneath the trees."

"All this while waiting for our laundry to dry?," he smiled.

"Yes! Or we could just go to a laundromat if you find that more inspiring." ~ Happy

By Happy Oasis, Raw Spirit Community News

Happy: Dr. Elizabeth, What's the bliss?
Dr. Elizabeth: I'm completing my first book, Skinnydipping In The Fountain of Youth: Seven Keys to Eternal Radiance.
H: What a fantastic title. I'm inspired to read it already. When will it be finished?
Dr. E: It will be finished, as you love to say, in "PDT", Perfect Divine Timing.
H: Dr. Elizabeth, you live up to your exuberant book title. I'm wondering why you are so dang energized and so incredibly beautiful? Have you ever fasted?
Dr. E: Yes, after doing the first juice fast, it was as if I had plugged myself into a light socket. My cells get so excited to receive such food in this way.
H: Which foods are you referring to that give you the greatest strength?
Dr. E: I've been on 100% living foods for years. Fruits and vegetables.
H: Besides strength, joy, health and beauty, what else does dining on fruits and vegetables do for you?
Dr. E: Living foods burst my pineal gland wide open. It helped me to remember my inherent intuition. I'm a second generation medical intuitive. I can now help guide people. My father is very third dimensional, rooted in religion, and a phenomenal diagnostic physician. Due to his keen perceptions, I asked him not so long ago if he uses a power greater than himself. "Do you use your intuition?", I asked. He answered, "I always get  a hunch."
H: What else have you learned from your father?
Dr. E: That if challenges arise with family members, we can remember to ask, "What is the gift in this relationship?"
H: What are your healthiest habits?
Dr. E: Being willing to be open to the possibility of saying "Yes" when I've previously been saying "No"; living from the heart, and dancing. I started dancing at age 40. I started interviewing people who have done extraordinary things. When I turned 50, I was told I would be a circuit speaker within 6 months. And I was! Part of my mission is to demonstrate that a woman can be more beautiful in her 50s than she ever has been in her life. There are a zillion expressions of beauty. The question is, is she in her joy? Any woman who is in her joy is absolutely radiant and also absolutely undeniable. I love boogie boarding and swimming in the ocean.  I love to see how much stronger I can be today than yesterday. I am going to dance rehearsal tonight with women who are half of my age. I love being on stage because I know that the Universe expresses its love and joy through me. It is about shifting our choices from fear to love. I rely on joy and also on service. If i can inspire and remind people to do whatever they love, that is delicious to me. We can all ask, "How much younger, stronger, kinder, deeper, more loving, more radiant, more beautiful can I express today?"
H: Wow. Inspiring.
Dr. E: It's so much fun realizing that we have the capacity to get better every day.
H: What is your observation of what is happening in America these days and do you have any suggestions?
Dr. E: I am going to the place that is health and wellness. I am observing people committing to jobs they don't' love, and lives they don't love by watching tv, eating dead (cooked) foods, and consuming pharmaceuticals. I would love to see everyone opening up to what gift that each would love to give to the world. I suggest that each of us move forward with our heart, just doing what we love. If everyone chooses to live and lead with lovingkindness, compassion and joy, together we can create heaven on Earth.
HO: I can hear the angels applauding.
Dr. E: I was so inspired being part of the Wise Wild Women's Panel at Raw Spirit Fest this last New Year's in Phoenix, Arizona. Happy, let's have a Wise Wild Women's Panel soon on the Dr. Elizabeth show!
Contact: Speaker@DrElizabeth.com • Call: 310.383.8764 • Website: www.DrElizabeth.com